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The Mothership, Creepy Lights, If they’re aliens, they picked a really boring town to invade.

First off I would like to say that I was never one to believe in the extra-terrestrial, or even one to be interested in “what lurks beyond our earth,” but I do believe that there are some things that are just unexplainable. Thursday, September 14th, around 1:30 AM pulling into my driveway, my headlights caught what I thought was a group of animals up in a tree. I shut my car off and decided to take another look with a flashlight. I pointed my flashlight at the tree quickly pulling it away. I realized that whatever was in the tree didn’t need the light to be seen. I was really confused and decided to call my sister, who was inside. She told me I’m nuts, there was nothing in the tree and quickly hung up on me. I kept looking at the tree and this “thing.” Whatever it was seemed to be getting bigger, bigger to the point of creating a reflection on the pond in my yard. I decided to attempt getting my sister outside again and this time I FaceTimed her so she could see that I wasn’t making it up. Within a minute she came flying out the front door, running into the front yard where we both just stared in disbelief. As this giant ball of lights silently hovered in the tree, I kid you not when I say about five coyotes started going nuts, howling so loud about two houses over. We spent a good hour outside, observing from a very far distance, filming the most hilarious Snapchats consisting of alien light blobs, howling coyotes and our dumbasses running like Olympic athletes throughout the yard. After freezing until we couldn’t feel our faces anymore, we finally called it quits for the night.

The next morning we re-watched the Snapchat stories we took and decided we needed to know what it was that we saw. Of course googling “lights hovering in the woods at night” gave us some completely crazy and unbelievable explanations, but we were determined to figure it out. As the week went by, we were still confused about the “the thing in the woods,” everyone we told about it thought we were crazy, and we were cracking alien jokes on the daily. It’s once again Thursday, a time of the night no normal human should be awake, and I happened to notice what I think are lights in the woods again. With no hesitation, my sister and I go out to investigate. Once again there is the same glowing ball of lights up in the trees, but this time in a different location and accompanied by a bunch of smaller “things” which seem to be equally distanced from it on both sides. These little “things” move very slightly back and forth and are constantly blinking red and green. We spend about an hour outside, freaked out and cold, then we went in for the night, once again really confused.

Throughout the rest of the month of October, and now into November, we have seen these light things so many times. We have forced friends and family members to wake up and go outside at ungodly hours of the night not only to have more witnesses, but to also prove that we’re not crazy or making it up. We have taken numerous pictures and videos, but none of them even do it justice. It’s a shame that the technology of an iPhone can recognize your face, but can’t focus on a light in the darkness. Every picture looks like a blob and every video is constantly alternating between two seconds in focus and thirty seconds as just straight blur. Still to this day my sister and I have no idea what these “things” actually are, but through our observations we have managed to get people curious, sharing all possibilities, and keeping an eye out for them as well.


Through our observations we’ve come to a few conclusions:

  1. Before these lights start to appear, there is always very loud noises in the woods, such as tree branches cracking.
  2. Wildlife tends to start acting weird when these lights start appearing ie: coyotes howling, numerous deer coming into our yard, even deer laying down about 20 feet from us, and our cat meowing so loud inside the house.
  3. There is always one giant cluster of lights that comes together at the top of a tree, this cluster moves down the tree literally slower than paint drying throughout the duration we observe it (we called it, “the mothership”).
  4. “The mothership” is always surrounded by smaller lights that blink red and green and do not move except hovering left and right.
  5. These things are not planes, or drones and they aren’t interested in abducting us.
  6. My sister and I are not as badass as we thought, we still have yet to get even remotely close to them.
  7. If they’re aliens, they picked a really boring town to invade.
  8. These things don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

We washed the chalkboard wall, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Momentum Gets a Makeover and Fall is Here

For those of you who have been to our office – you know that its colorful, there’s airplanes hanging from the ceiling, and a room entirely dedicated to oversized bean bags surrounding a TV playing the thong song music video on repeat.

The room makes ya feel a little crazy. Our chalkboard wall looked like we let 25 sugar high kids loose on it. (evidence below)


With summer ending, and fall approaching (PSLs all day every day #basic) .. we felt we needed to (pumpkin) spice things up! An office was added, and the open area in front is now the intern island. Equipped with new swirly, sparkly purple chairs. Your welcome.

Old Marketing Material, Trying to Look Busy, Drive Thru Exxpresso Rage, and Getting After It!

What to do with old marketing material… ? So I’m sitting in my office working my ass off just like any other day. Wait… no…, umm let me start over. So I’m sitting in my office trying to make sure it looks like I’m working and not just watching some YouTube goodness. I see Steve, the big Kahuna, walk past my door with a box of our brochures heading to the garbage. After a short talk, I learn he hates them and there’s only like 40 left so he’s throwing them out. Really Steve!? Good to know a year later that you hate them.

Its funny, we always laugh about how most clients get their marketing material printed up and then hoard it away in some dungeon so it doesn’t “get wasted.” When in reality its entire purpose is to be handed out to as many people as possible, as fast as possible.

So what do you do with your old marketing material? I mean the day after you get it it’s old, right? Do you put it in a safe or closet? Hide it so it doesn’t get wasted?

The biggest mistake you can make is holding on to your marketing material. Get it out there. This way it never gets outdated while in your possession. I mean, use it for the job you made it for.

What did I do with our old marketing material? Well first I headed off to Starbucks, and I spent literally 20 mins on the drive-thru line. This has become a ridiculous reality every time I go there. Why can’t someone open a successful coffee chain with drive thru that just serves coffee products not mountains of pre-packaged non-expirable bagged foods and blended sugary death shakes? I hate waiting on line for people who are waiting for their five-course breakfasts to be microwaved and handed to them in a bag. PEOPLE YOU NEED TO EITHER MAKE YOUR BREAKFAST AT HOME OR GO INSIDE!! I don’t have time to wait for you. Oh and why is it that every time I order an espresso at Starbucks it gets repeated back to me as EXXPRESSO😡. The people serving it don’t even know how to pronounce it? End rant.

Wait, you’re still waiting for an answer to the old marketing material thing…? Right. So, I take the existing 40 brochures and throw them in 40 folders. Write some Drew noise in a note, package it up and mail it out. All together this cost me maybe 2 hours picking some super lucky people to receive this awesome package, some time printing the note and some postage. The stuff is not that bad and what if I get one client or one job from the small amount of effort??? I’m sure if I do, Steve will throw tons of money my way for the effort and probably take me out to lunch for my awesomeness.

Okay, we know none of that will happen, and knowing me I probably screwed up the addresses on all 40 packages so they will all end up lost in mail space but doing something with the material is better than just throwing them straight to a landfill or letting them sit in the closet to die all lonely. So I guess what I’m saying is, if you have any marketing material, get after it! Get it together and get it out there. Unless of course it’s so bad it will hurt you. Then call me and we can make you some better materials.

Restaurant Marketing, Avocado Toast, Buffalo NY, Savages and Cop Who Won’t Let Us Double Park

Yes, it’s been a while since I last posted. I know all of you have been wandering around not knowing what to do with yourself since my last post. Is there anyone reading this? It’s gonna be about restaurant marketing I swear. You can all relax, I am alive and well!
April was my birthday month so I took the month off and ate peanut M&Ms in bed. Yes, for the whole month. Well actually that’s a lie. I ate a ton of other stuff too, fish tacos, avocado toast… er-mah-gerd avocado toast. For real, the best damn avocado toast on the planet was had by me in Buffalo – see the pic. Ok, so I lied. I didn’t just stay in bed. I was in Buffalo and grabbing some breakfast. I walk in to Perks Cafe with my foodie side kick and daughter
and a team of savages. We end up having what I think, is the best breakfast I’ve ever had. Yes, with a few double espressos, which were good also.
It’s funny how even when in an unfamiliar city, you can always tell by how a company markets itself whether it’s safe to enter. Don’t get me wrong, there are millions of amazing holes-in-the-wall that do no restaurant marketing, look like hell, but still shine. But when you’re on an adventure with one of your kids and a bunch of savages, you tend to double check how awful a food establishment could possibly be before entering.
Restaurant Marketing
What am I talking about now? How can I possibly twist this to relate to restaurant marketing? Well, there we were circling a building because a cop had come over and shooed us away for double parking. We were waiting for my sister to reappear from a pharmacy. All of us starving, I started to hit Yelp and Google for a nearby place to grab breakfast since my daughter was chewing on my arm. The first 15 or so results were all garbage fast food chains. Not something I’m into. I’d rather have a bad meal at a genuine place than a decent meal at a fast food place. Can you even have a decent meal at a fast food place?
Anyway, when I find a result I like, I hit the website and make sure it’s worthy of further investigation. First thing I look to see is if the site is responsive or if they even have one. Does it load on my phone correctly and look like some money was spent on it, or is it a site from 2013 that doesn’t load properly, has no quality images, or info? I make this decision in seconds. If you don’t care what your site looks like, or how you’re represented in your own marketing, then I can’t even imagine the food quality your serving, or what kind of people you have handling your food.
After a few sites – boom, I find Perks. Good site with images of the place and their food. I don’t even look at the menu… I’m in. We are hungry and the website was nice. Someone took the time to put this together for sure. This is a place I can trust. It’s real, they know that how they look is important, and I’m guessing they feel the same about service and quality.
Directions from Google and our trusty driver get us curb side! There you have it. The best damn avocado toast ever, and maybe the best breakfast I have ever had.
This entire experience was only possible because they cared enough to make sure they not only marketed themselves – but did it with quality. Now you see my tie into restaurant marketing? Restaurant marketing, its like super important for restaurants and stuff. On a side note, everything all the savages had was also loved.
So that’s it. I’m back. I hope you all didn’t miss me too much. Oh, and did you catch the last blog post? It was a guest post from an intern who just finished her internship. She will be missed. Emma if your reading this, what’s with the De Niro thing? Am I too old to understand? I have no idea what the hell is going on in the first paragraph and yes, I realize I approved your post! Also Michelle, you see I finally spelled DAMN right. TWICE!

The Intern, Chicken Wing$, Hot Sauce and the Adventures of a Brave Pizza from Chicago

While this blog post has nothing to do with Robert De Niro and I am not a senior citizen, I am a senior in another sense. I will soon be graduating from college and am here to share my experiences as an intern.

Interning at Momentum has first and foremost been a learning experience, but also a crazy one that has left me wondering what other interns do?

During my first week we sampled some top notch wings, straying from your usual wing flavors and selecting Sticky Chipotle Lime, Spiced Parmesan Garlic, and Honey Sriracha- which Andrew (the hot sauce fanatic) repeatedly reminded me that it is pronounced ShRRiracha despite my naive thinking that it was simply siracha.

This was a day I went home to brag to my friends about. “Today at internship I ate sooo many wings” to which they all turned green with envy. Little did they know, this would not be the only time I would gloat of my internship experiences.

In the weeks to come we would sample several flavors of Halo Top ice cream- ice cream with only about 280 calories in an ENTIRE CONTAINER. It had to be too good to be true. Did it even taste like ice cream? For some reason we just had to see for ourselves. My beginning weeks were also peppered with rumors of cashing in Momentum’s loose change fund to fly in a deep dish pizza from Chicago. “How did that even work?” I wondered.  “A pizza with a private jet? Did it have a full size plane all to itself?” It seemed excessive, but I have never been to Chicago and pizza is one of my favorite foods (top 5 at the very least), so I wasn’t going to argue.

After a while, this adventurous eating needed to slow down. However, we never failed to pass around restaurant recommendations while also showing off photos of our perfectly filtered bao buns, curried noodles, beautifully crafted avocado toast and hot wieners from my home town in Lil Rhody (Rhode Island).

Safe to say the most prevalent emotion I felt while on the job was hungry.

Other topics of discussion on an average day at momentum included looking up how to make a quick buck- we looked into donating plasma, bone marrow, even eggs! But I’m not gonna lie to you- our most used conversation starter was “Guess what I ate this weekend?”

Hey Michelle.

Anyway, I felt like I was really part of the gang. We even followed each other on Instagram. I came in some days to a confused Andrew, who had assumed that my recent post on Instagram from my old study abroad collection meant that I had actually planned an impromptu European weekend getaway. lol, as if.

I’m gonna miss being part of such a cool team and having a space to try delicious foods and show off my food-tography skills. On to bigger (but probably not better) things. 11/10 would recommend being an intern @Momentum.

Stale Marketing that suffers from S.A.D., My M&M-Filled Blood, and My Plea to Eat With You

Stale marketing, short days, and people walking around like zombies. This is what I think of when someone mentions the month of February.

It’s finally March. I couldn’t be happier that February is behind us. The sun will be out longer. I can get back to figuring out how to get outside, and hopefully get rid of this case of S.A.D. Yes, my doctor says I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Wut? Yeah, that’s what I said to my doc. As I’m telling him I have no energy, I can’t get motivated at the gym, and I think something’s wrong – he’s talking over me as doctors do (because they are way too important to actually listen). He’s says, “sounds like you have seasonal affective disorder. I see this a lot. Very common.” I’m like, “wut, are you calling me SAD? Hahaha, that’s your diagnosis?” He does not think my comment and laughing are funny at all. I’m a tiny-brained commoner who couldn’t possibly understand that he, as a primary care physician, spends his days saving countless lives, and his nights coming up with cures to humanity-ending diseases before they get out of control.

“Can I get a blood test anyway please?” He blows me off, leaves, and sends in the nurse to drain me of my peanut-M&M-filled blood.

This all gets me thinking – what does the MAYO clinic think about S.A.D.? Read more

Instagram Marketing; What’s your Company’s Flavor? .. T Swift, Ice Cream, & REI

Why do we follow brands and celebrities on Instagram? We don’t actually know these people. They aren’t our friends. We don’t get drinks with Nike or Kevin Hart on a Friday night. We do it because we are curious, and it’s fun. Taylor Swift’s Instagram made me aware of her cat obsession, which lead me to the conclusion that we were definitely BFFs in a previous life.

As a fan, you want to gain a better understanding of the person or product. You want to learn more about the genius responsible for your favorite things. Instagram is the most personal of all the current social media platforms and it provides the opportunity to connect with the consumer on a deeper, more friendly level.

Read more

Podcast, Darkside Records, Sudafed, Me All Emo, A Krysty Pringle Breakthrough, I’m Famous Bitch!

Alright peeps, here’s the deal. It’s Friday, we’re gonna talk podcast. I’m sick as hell, and have been all week. So this might actually be my worst post yet. You’re probably saying, impossible your posts are all Nobel worthy, but for real… I’m struggling. I narrowly escaped having to go to a client meeting yesterday only to be saved by the fact that one of the major players was sick. Be warned, people are dropping like flies!

So here we go. My Sudafed kicked in about an hour ago. My heart is racing, I’m getting all emo, and running low on peanut M&Ms. Perfect timing to sit down and write my post which I should have finished yesterday. Anyhooo…

Last week I got a snap from an old friend and co-worker, John Bryan, who is currently the Director of Creative and Marketing at Darkside Records in Poughkeepsie NY. So what was in the snap I speak of? Well first let me tell you when I get a snap from JB, I always open ASAP. They are guaranteed to be filled with humor or sarcasm. Two things I can’t do without. God this post is cheesy… way too much Sudafed. Stay focused Drew.


Ok right, so the snap. It’s a video of a desktop screen showing some audio editing being worked on, and the audio is playing. The audio is the latest episode of one of the Podcasts he is running. I immediately realized he just said my name – but in super-secret super code. I hear Schmandrew Schmac Schmarlane.

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Krysty Pringle UPDATE!, Taste Test, Things We do to keep from killing each other, and Mary Poppins

If you know us at Momentum Advertising, you probably know I force all of us to do some strange and fat things, like this week’s taste test. Yes, I’m taking full credit, because if I wasn’t here, no-one would even talk to each other. None of the insane things we do would ever have been done. Period. Is that period the actual period cause there’s a period after the period? Whatever. Who cares. Back to the post.


We fly pizza in from Chicago. We do taste tests with everything imaginable – from falafels, and cheese steaks to macaroons and poisonous energy drinks. We go to Comic Con and Momentum Advertising has even competed in a few Tough Mudders. We have hit up the MOMA – all together, hand-in-hand, singing and laughing. It’s like a scene out of Mary Poppins but with a bunch of mean monsters who are constantly looking for their next victim to feed on!


So, a week or so ago, Renee’s daughter Sydney turned us on to an ice cream that says it’s a healthy ice cream. Let me first say this. There is no such thing as a healthy ice cream (stupid evil marketers). But if the facts about the Ice cream are true, it’s definitely a healthier, lower calorie version of the cream of ice. So, we needed a Momentum Advertising taste test.


Momentum Advertising Taste Test
From the ice cream people’s site:
“While Halo Top is low-calorie, high-protein, and low-sugar, we use only the best, all-natural ingredients to craft our ice cream so that it tastes just like regular ice cream.”

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Super Bowl Advertising, Karma, Wings, I Ordered More Hot Sauce & the CrossFit Open

Super Bowl advertising. Is it advertising, or a form of karma to all the bloated companies and head dick bags who waddle around over-charging clients and under paying the people who actually make the products and bring it to market? I know, I know, where did I learn the word karma right?

Back to Super Bowl advertising. Take a look at the price it costs to run a spot during the Super Bowl. This year I believe it comes in at around 5 million (for a mere 30 seconds). That’s a lot of cheese. Shit, that’s all the cheese! It’s got fantastic viewership – everyone’s bloated, loud and throwing peanut M&Ms at the TV, but the numbers are there. They can afford TV so they have the extra cheese. Read more