Old Marketing Material, Trying to Look Busy, Drive Thru Exxpresso Rage, and Getting After It!

What to do with old marketing material… ? So I’m sitting in my office working my ass off just like any other day. Wait… no…, umm let me start over. So I’m sitting in my office trying to make sure it looks like I’m working and not just watching some YouTube goodness. I see Steve, the big Kahuna, walk past my door with a box of our brochures heading to the garbage. After a short talk, I learn he hates them and there’s only like 40 left so he’s throwing them out. Really Steve!? Good to know a year later that you hate them.

Its funny, we always laugh about how most clients get their marketing material printed up and then hoard it away in some dungeon so it doesn’t “get wasted.” When in reality its entire purpose is to be handed out to as many people as possible, as fast as possible.

So what do you do with your old marketing material? I mean the day after you get it it’s old, right? Do you put it in a safe or closet? Hide it so it doesn’t get wasted?

The biggest mistake you can make is holding on to your marketing material. Get it out there. This way it never gets outdated while in your possession. I mean, use it for the job you made it for.

What did I do with our old marketing material? Well first I headed off to Starbucks, and I spent literally 20 mins on the drive-thru line. This has become a ridiculous reality every time I go there. Why can’t someone open a successful coffee chain with drive thru that just serves coffee products not mountains of pre-packaged non-expirable bagged foods and blended sugary death shakes? I hate waiting on line for people who are waiting for their five-course breakfasts to be microwaved and handed to them in a bag. PEOPLE YOU NEED TO EITHER MAKE YOUR BREAKFAST AT HOME OR GO INSIDE!! I don’t have time to wait for you. Oh and why is it that every time I order an espresso at Starbucks it gets repeated back to me as EXXPRESSO😡. The people serving it don’t even know how to pronounce it? End rant.

Wait, you’re still waiting for an answer to the old marketing material thing…? Right. So, I take the existing 40 brochures and throw them in 40 folders. Write some Drew noise in a note, package it up and mail it out. All together this cost me maybe 2 hours picking some super lucky people to receive this awesome package, some time printing the note and some postage. The stuff is not that bad and what if I get one client or one job from the small amount of effort??? I’m sure if I do, Steve will throw tons of money my way for the effort and probably take me out to lunch for my awesomeness.

Okay, we know none of that will happen, and knowing me I probably screwed up the addresses on all 40 packages so they will all end up lost in mail space but doing something with the material is better than just throwing them straight to a landfill or letting them sit in the closet to die all lonely. So I guess what I’m saying is, if you have any marketing material, get after it! Get it together and get it out there. Unless of course it’s so bad it will hurt you. Then call me and we can make you some better materials.

Restaurant Marketing, Avocado Toast, Buffalo NY, Savages and Cop Who Won’t Let Us Double Park

Yes, it’s been a while since I last posted. I know all of you have been wandering around not knowing what to do with yourself since my last post. Is there anyone reading this? It’s gonna be about restaurant marketing I swear. You can all relax, I am alive and well!
April was my birthday month so I took the month off and ate peanut M&Ms in bed. Yes, for the whole month. Well actually that’s a lie. I ate a ton of other stuff too, fish tacos, avocado toast… er-mah-gerd avocado toast. For real, the best damn avocado toast on the planet was had by me in Buffalo – see the pic. Ok, so I lied. I didn’t just stay in bed. I was in Buffalo and grabbing some breakfast. I walk in to Perks Cafe with my foodie side kick and daughter
and a team of savages. We end up having what I think, is the best breakfast I’ve ever had. Yes, with a few double espressos, which were good also.
It’s funny how even when in an unfamiliar city, you can always tell by how a company markets itself whether it’s safe to enter. Don’t get me wrong, there are millions of amazing holes-in-the-wall that do no restaurant marketing, look like hell, but still shine. But when you’re on an adventure with one of your kids and a bunch of savages, you tend to double check how awful a food establishment could possibly be before entering.
Restaurant Marketing
What am I talking about now? How can I possibly twist this to relate to restaurant marketing? Well, there we were circling a building because a cop had come over and shooed us away for double parking. We were waiting for my sister to reappear from a pharmacy. All of us starving, I started to hit Yelp and Google for a nearby place to grab breakfast since my daughter was chewing on my arm. The first 15 or so results were all garbage fast food chains. Not something I’m into. I’d rather have a bad meal at a genuine place than a decent meal at a fast food place. Can you even have a decent meal at a fast food place?
Anyway, when I find a result I like, I hit the website and make sure it’s worthy of further investigation. First thing I look to see is if the site is responsive or if they even have one. Does it load on my phone correctly and look like some money was spent on it, or is it a site from 2013 that doesn’t load properly, has no quality images, or info? I make this decision in seconds. If you don’t care what your site looks like, or how you’re represented in your own marketing, then I can’t even imagine the food quality your serving, or what kind of people you have handling your food.
After a few sites – boom, I find Perks. Good site with images of the place and their food. I don’t even look at the menu… I’m in. We are hungry and the website was nice. Someone took the time to put this together for sure. This is a place I can trust. It’s real, they know that how they look is important, and I’m guessing they feel the same about service and quality.
Directions from Google and our trusty driver get us curb side! There you have it. The best damn avocado toast ever, and maybe the best breakfast I have ever had.
This entire experience was only possible because they cared enough to make sure they not only marketed themselves – but did it with quality. Now you see my tie into restaurant marketing? Restaurant marketing, its like super important for restaurants and stuff. On a side note, everything all the savages had was also loved.
So that’s it. I’m back. I hope you all didn’t miss me too much. Oh, and did you catch the last blog post? It was a guest post from an intern who just finished her internship. She will be missed. Emma if your reading this, what’s with the De Niro thing? Am I too old to understand? I have no idea what the hell is going on in the first paragraph and yes, I realize I approved your post! Also Michelle, you see I finally spelled DAMN right. TWICE!

Stale Marketing that suffers from S.A.D., My M&M-Filled Blood, and My Plea to Eat With You

Stale marketing, short days, and people walking around like zombies. This is what I think of when someone mentions the month of February.

It’s finally March. I couldn’t be happier that February is behind us. The sun will be out longer. I can get back to figuring out how to get outside, and hopefully get rid of this case of S.A.D. Yes, my doctor says I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Wut? Yeah, that’s what I said to my doc. As I’m telling him I have no energy, I can’t get motivated at the gym, and I think something’s wrong – he’s talking over me as doctors do (because they are way too important to actually listen). He’s says, “sounds like you have seasonal affective disorder. I see this a lot. Very common.” I’m like, “wut, are you calling me SAD? Hahaha, that’s your diagnosis?” He does not think my comment and laughing are funny at all. I’m a tiny-brained commoner who couldn’t possibly understand that he, as a primary care physician, spends his days saving countless lives, and his nights coming up with cures to humanity-ending diseases before they get out of control.

“Can I get a blood test anyway please?” He blows me off, leaves, and sends in the nurse to drain me of my peanut-M&M-filled blood.

This all gets me thinking – what does the MAYO clinic think about S.A.D.? Read more

Podcast, Darkside Records, Sudafed, Me All Emo, A Krysty Pringle Breakthrough, I’m Famous Bitch!

Alright peeps, here’s the deal. It’s Friday, we’re gonna talk podcast. I’m sick as hell, and have been all week. So this might actually be my worst post yet. You’re probably saying, impossible your posts are all Nobel worthy, but for real… I’m struggling. I narrowly escaped having to go to a client meeting yesterday only to be saved by the fact that one of the major players was sick. Be warned, people are dropping like flies!

So here we go. My Sudafed kicked in about an hour ago. My heart is racing, I’m getting all emo, and running low on peanut M&Ms. Perfect timing to sit down and write my post which I should have finished yesterday. Anyhooo…

Last week I got a snap from an old friend and co-worker, John Bryan, who is currently the Director of Creative and Marketing at Darkside Records in Poughkeepsie NY. So what was in the snap I speak of? Well first let me tell you when I get a snap from JB, I always open ASAP. They are guaranteed to be filled with humor or sarcasm. Two things I can’t do without. God this post is cheesy… way too much Sudafed. Stay focused Drew.


Ok right, so the snap. It’s a video of a desktop screen showing some audio editing being worked on, and the audio is playing. The audio is the latest episode of one of the Podcasts he is running. I immediately realized he just said my name – but in super-secret super code. I hear Schmandrew Schmac Schmarlane.

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Krysty Pringle UPDATE!, Taste Test, Things We do to keep from killing each other, and Mary Poppins

If you know us at Momentum Advertising, you probably know I force all of us to do some strange and fat things, like this week’s taste test. Yes, I’m taking full credit, because if I wasn’t here, no-one would even talk to each other. None of the insane things we do would ever have been done. Period. Is that period the actual period cause there’s a period after the period? Whatever. Who cares. Back to the post.


We fly pizza in from Chicago. We do taste tests with everything imaginable – from falafels, and cheese steaks to macaroons and poisonous energy drinks. We go to Comic Con and Momentum Advertising has even competed in a few Tough Mudders. We have hit up the MOMA – all together, hand-in-hand, singing and laughing. It’s like a scene out of Mary Poppins but with a bunch of mean monsters who are constantly looking for their next victim to feed on!


So, a week or so ago, Renee’s daughter Sydney turned us on to an ice cream that says it’s a healthy ice cream. Let me first say this. There is no such thing as a healthy ice cream (stupid evil marketers). But if the facts about the Ice cream are true, it’s definitely a healthier, lower calorie version of the cream of ice. So, we needed a Momentum Advertising taste test.


Momentum Advertising Taste Test
From the ice cream people’s site:
“While Halo Top is low-calorie, high-protein, and low-sugar, we use only the best, all-natural ingredients to craft our ice cream so that it tastes just like regular ice cream.”

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Super Bowl Advertising, Karma, Wings, I Ordered More Hot Sauce & the CrossFit Open

Super Bowl advertising. Is it advertising, or a form of karma to all the bloated companies and head dick bags who waddle around over-charging clients and under paying the people who actually make the products and bring it to market? I know, I know, where did I learn the word karma right?

Back to Super Bowl advertising. Take a look at the price it costs to run a spot during the Super Bowl. This year I believe it comes in at around 5 million (for a mere 30 seconds). That’s a lot of cheese. Shit, that’s all the cheese! It’s got fantastic viewership – everyone’s bloated, loud and throwing peanut M&Ms at the TV, but the numbers are there. They can afford TV so they have the extra cheese. Read more

Customer Service Marketing, Bath Bombs, More Hot Sauce and a Poop Emoji

Is it customer service marketing – or is customer service really the new marketing? This is what runs through my head as I sit in my bath tub and try to come up with the words for this post. Also bath bombs, if not made correctly, are gross, and candles while you bathe alone are sad, and a ton of work.

Anyway, I wrote a post a few weeks ago about YouTube advertising and a show called Hot Ones. You can check out the post for details. I ended up ordering some hot sauce from the company that sells the show’s hot sauce. The company is Heatonist. Bonus – they are located in Brooklyn, NY. Think local people, or at least stately!

customer service marketing

So I fill out the order form on their site. In the comments section before submitting my order I type – SEND ME FREE SHIT! like I always do on any site I order from, cause I’m insanely annoying. Read more

Creative Flow, Standing Desks, Caffeine, and a Douglas Adams Quote

Creative flow is one of the things we at Momentum battle with every day… along with slave wages, dysentery, drug addiction and P.M.M.D (Peanut M&M Disease). So how do we keep creative flow flowing? Well the truth is – we don’t…. at least collectively. We can’t. Sometimes the shit just doesn’t flow. So what do we do when the flow binds up? We have a tool box full of help.

One of the tools is each other. If one of us is working on something and we’re feeling creatively constipated (which happens, people, it’s perfectly normal), then we can walk around and bounce bad ideas off each other. Some of our most creative ideas have been born from sharing some of our worst ideas – sparking ridicule, thought and one-upmanship.

Another tool we use is having standing desks. We have 5 standing desks because you know “sitting is the new smoking”. We have noticed the act of being mobile keeps you sharp. Sitting makes people lethargic, cranky and short. If you haven’t tried a standing desk, do it. It can take a little getting used to but is totally worth it. Using a standing desk actually lowers your risk of weight gain, which means more peanut M&M’s and fish tacos. Any form of movement or exercise helps immensely with creative flow. So the next time your flow gets bound, try doing some work while stand for an hour.
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YouTube Advertising, Rachael Ray’s a Straight Up Gangster, Yes, I’m Naked and Eating Again

YouTube advertising. I’m obsessed with YouTube. Last year I added YouTube to my long list of things I’m addicted to. It’s right there under food and laying around in my bed.

You can often find me in my bed eating eggs benedict, peanut M&Ms, and popcorn while watching YouTube naked. Boom, that last part was for the ladies!  Naked, that part! It’s so bad that I sometimes have my phone in one hand searching YouTube, while watching YouTube on my TV. Anything and everything you’re into is at your fingertips, and endless amounts of content to obsess over.

Nothing good on… nothing good “ON”. ON? Why would anyone wait for something to be “ON”? Only stupidity can keep a person from watching what they want, when they want it. And when I hear people talking about “unplugging from the cable company”?? LOL Where you been? We did that years ago, when we got rid of home phones, milk delivery and polio. The digital game has made it so that we can setup our digital lives the way we want to and live quickly and easily with everything at our finger tips – while naked and eating. This in turn makes it easier to market products to people that they’re actually interested in, especially with YouTube advertising.

youtube advertising post

Some quick YouTube stats I grabbed from Brandwatch.

Full article can be found on Brandwatch

  • YouTube is the world’s second largest search engine and third most visited site after Google and Facebook.
  • On average, there are billion views per day.
  • Time spent watching YouTube on TV has more than doubled in the last year.

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Holiday Hangovers, Marketing Cobwebs, Nerf Guns, and The Most Important Thing You Can Do In 2017

So, if you’re reading this you made it to 2017 and I’ll bet your marketing has suffered during the holidays. Like most people, you spun into 2017 with 2 flat tires, no breaks, and on empty…or maybe that’s just me? You’re probably torturing yourself with some sort of diet and your body is riddled with pain from going to the gym. You’re working extra hard to shake off all the holiday weight, brain fog, and memory of all the money you spent on the craziness. Did I really buy 5 new Nerf guns for my son? What the hell was I thinking. I have been shot at least 3 times in the eye and he hides them so I can’t take them away. His mounted attacks every night are taking their toll. I fear for my life!

Are you now just realizing that you have either done a half-ass job or totally neglected marketing for the last month or so? You’re not alone. In fact, the majority of companies hit auto pilot during the holidays and everything goes to hell. Momentum generally advises on cutting back on media buys during the holiday time. The larger product driven companies spend so much money on media during the holidays that it’s hard to compete and be seen with all the clutter. It’s just not worth the money for most!

Holiday Hangover

It’s January 5th though and time to get back at it. The clutter is gone and you need to stand out! If you’re having problems getting motivated and getting the cobwebs cleared out, get over to the local java joint and grab a quad espresso, do some push-ups, and scream for a bit. Remember your competition has been at it for days already and they never sleep! They are already on step 2 of their 2017 marketing plan. You have been warned. Good luck! Read more